The language of God

I have those times, as we all do, when really, there are no words to say that can describe the pain of our heart, when there are no prayers you can pray that will ease the burden you bear. Yet, those are the times I know God is closest to me......He is listening to my heart without me having to say a word, He is catching my tears and seeing beyond what human eye can see. There are even times, I have asked, Oh God where are you, are you here with me now? Do you see what is going on in my life? Do you see how evil this world has become? Man, You created in Your own image, do You see how wicked and perverse he has become?
I may not "feel" He is with me but, I "KNOW" He is with me. I can't trust my feelings, my mood and my emotions, after all they change like the weather....sometimes a little more quickly than others....
 http://youtu.be/ZWZI9KAUWak
 
 I can't trust in what I see, I can't hope in the world around me, I can't place my faith in my emotions,  My own relationship with Christ can not depend on the actions and lives of those around me.

Without Christ, I can't cope with the evil that surrounds me. I am one who won't read the news because, it leaves me feeling sick to my stomach....burdened. I can't attend a school event without my heart breaking, I look around the gym, more than one or two my heart and my eyes will be drawn to and I feel my eyes start tearing up and while they may never know, I pray for them. . There may never be another person in their life who loves them enough to do so. If I am alone I cry on the way home, and I hug my own kids a little tighter, and I pray that God protects them from the evil that surrounds them, that his angels watch over them when they are away from me.

There are different gifts God gives us, one I ask Him for is wisdom, discernment that in my heart I will know, the evil, the hypocrite, those that aren't trustworthy long before I am given a reason for it.
In the day we live, the church is the best place for Satan to hide. Then from the inside he can destroy us. What wounds us more? When we are hurt by a stranger, or when we are betrayed by a friend, brother/sister in Christ, that we trusted. The sad thing is that we are so quick to blame God in our hurt, to become bitter, to even hate God and anybody associated with Christ. Some never see that behind every bad church related experience, Satan was working. At times even true well meaning Christians become Satan's pawn, and be petty, rude, hateful, and just plain wrong, not only by man's standard but by God's standard. God's standard is very clear in
 1 Corinthians 13 (if you want to read)
 http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20corinthians%2013&version=KJV 

Then there are those that are wolves among us, dressed in sheep clothing, even Christ had one He loved to betray Him
Mark 14:18
 And as they sat and did eat, Jesus said, Verily I say unto you, One of you which eateth with me shall betray me.
Can you imagine what the God, the Father felt, to know that His creation, man, was going to torment, torture and crucify His only Son?! As long as I live I will never understand how God could love man so much that He would let His son die for them. I ask myself would I let my son die
for any of the best friends I have ever had and I love, for a person who hates me, for a person who hates my Son, NO!
            For the addicts of this world, drugs, alcohol, sex, pornography, liars, gossipers, there are all kind of things to be addicted to this list could go on and on but NEVER would I let my Son die for any such as these! 
            Even harder still, For the rapist, murderer, child molester, physically, mentally and emotionally abusive people, parents who kill their own children, spouses that kill one another, Children that kill their parents, serial killers, people that just kill people for fun?!! A millions times no, I couldn't! 
                  How could God love us so much He could stand by and watch the death and the betrayal of His son, yet He did.
             It's not God that causes bad things to happen, He has given each of us free will, we can choose to serve Him or we choose to serve Satan, He will never force us to do anything. Just as I can choose to serve Him, so can the Sinner choose to serve Satan as their Master.
Innocent people suffer because of choices made in sin, some never had a choice, they were the victims.

I guess I have poured out my heart to ask that in your pain, You turn to God and not away, that you see the real enemy and instigator of your pain is Satan.
Tell God your hurt, if your the  victim, the Sinner, the backslider, the one who was hurt by words, or actions of a person you trusted, no matter where you stand, His love is everlasting, his mercy endures for ever.

I am sorry this is so scattered and long today, but my heart is broken for those I love and the pain they are feeling.

Jamie