A few weeks ago I found myself alone with Blaine. That doesn't happen very often and when it does I almost feel scared like "Can I really do this on my own?!" Lol! He is after all the youngest of 5, how did I have kids before I had kids?
So I did like they told me to do at the hospital, I brought Blaine into the bathroom with me while I showered. His contentedness of course only lasted thru the wetting of my hair. The whole time I showered I talked to Blaine, "Blaine, it's okay, Mommy's
almost done, Mommy's just taking a shower, Blaine here I am, I'm right
behind the curtain, Can you hear Mommy Blainey Boo, just a few more
seconds" . It seemed the more I talked the more frantic he became, until finally I finished my shower.
I pulled back the curtain to find him screaming like he is being murdered and frantically kicking those little legs waving his chubby little arms with clenched fist in the air and sad little tears running down his red face. He was perfectly safe, right where I had placed him knowing he would be. I felt so sorry for the little guy he looked so pitiful, I started trying to get him to look at me by talking "Oh Blaine, mommy has been here the entire time, I know you couldn't see me but I was right here, watching over you making sure you were safe, I was right behind the curtain"...
Right about then I felt hot tears burn my eyes and start blurring my vision and no longer was this about me comforting my baby. I felt like God was saying, "That's you Jamie, you have been so frantic and scared wondering where I have been, feeling alone, freaking out over this storm, thinking just because you can't "see" me that I am not there, but I am, I have been."
I have been in a panic and it has gotten worse, the longer the storm has lasted the more I felt He wasn't near. Just like Blaine I have been screaming and panicked and when He didn't make everything okay. Blaine was calmed by the sight of mom and being held in my arms, I guess I need that reassurance, knowing God's got this too.... like he always has.
Deuteronomy 31:6
"Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or
tremble at them, for the LORD your God is the one who goes with you. He
will not fail you or forsake you."
